February Recap

Wow!  Two months into the year and I’m still keeping my New Year resolution!  This has to be a record.  Call Guinness!  

I’m not sure if it’s causal or correlative but this year with its experiments of firsts has flown by!  To recap February’s firsts:

1. Raised money for the Loeys-Dietz Syndrome Foundation through my jewelry business.  I did not quite meet my goal, but I know the foundation will be pleased to receive my check of $160 in the coming days.
2. Tried brussel sprouts (Yuck!)
3. Attempted crock pot fajitas and money origami (epic fail)
4. Ordered drive thru at McDonalds while adding “Mc” to every noun in the order.
5. Burpee
6. Spent an evening with our school’s lunch ladies
7. Read Interrupted  by Jen Hatmaker
8. Watched Captain Phillips with oldest son, E.
9. Let E make dinner without me butting in.
10. Made calzones
11. Ombre manicure
12. Went a day without makeup
13. Made snow cream
14. Made door decor
15. Attended a college baseball game (Go, Diamond Deacs!)
16. Homemade finger paint/goo
17. Girls Night Out with a former student
18. Calculated my carbon footprint
19. Watched American Horror Story:Coven
20. Cut my toddler’s, D, hair
21. Paid for the fast food order or a customer behind me in line.
22. Cheered for Duke (ouch!  That’s painful even now.)
23. Watched the movie Precious
24. Prepared hubby for pageant
25. Made microloan through Kiva.org
26. Went to sleep in the next day’s outfit
27. Listed to Steve Martin and Edie Brickell  
28. No TV

Step Away From the Boob Tube – Day 59

Tonight’s first:  avoiding the television.  I’m sure I’ve gone a 24 hour period without television in my life, but it was coincidental.  The difference is today I have conscientiously made the decision to avoid television even as I am sitting in a home that has three of them hooked up to cable.

There are very few shows that I consider “must see tv.”  I really enjoy “Grimm”, “Once Upon a Time”, and “The Blacklist”.  If I happen to catch an episode of “Big Bang Theory”, “Friends”, or “Seinfeld”  I will stop and enjoy.  Regardless of how much I say I don’t need to television, I usually have it on.  And it is amazing the amount of time I spend mindlessly in front of it.

As a family, it is quite embarrassing how much we are addicted to this machine if we are being honest.  My toddler son will begin begging for his shows within five minutes of waking in the morning.  That’s why I’ve decided to target this for today’s first.  I can’t control nor do I even suggest the rest of my family tackle today’s first, but I wanted to see if I missed television if I eliminated it from my regular day.

The simple answer is not so simple.  No, I did not feel deprived as a result of not watching television.  However, I found it challenging to fill my evening at home.  If I am not to watch television, what should I do?  I felt as though I could not simply sit back and relax.  Television is a guilty pleasure completely allowed, but just sitting in my bedroom and reading?  That seems indulgent.  Therefore, I felt the need to complete chores.  I mopped, I picked up stuff, I hung up clothes, I did laundry…..blah, blah, blah.  I was exhausted.

If my options in the evening are running from chore to chore or vegetating in front of a television, bring me a remote….even if that means I’ll be watching Barney.

Finally, when it was time for my toddler, D, to settle down, I took him to my husband in the living room to watch….you guessed it…television.  Then I retired to the bedroom where I could do just a few more chores then relax in the bed with my computer.  (Yes, I am aware of how similar the time-sucks computers are to televisions, but again, my blog. I make the rules.)  I must say, at this point, the quiet and lack of stimulation from the television made it much easier to relax.  Just me, my computer, and my magazines.  A much better evening than prime time programming can provide.

Day 58-Music that Feels as Comfy as a Warm Blanket

I grew up less than 10 minutes from the site of one of America’s premier music festivals: MerleFest. It celebrates Americana, folk, and bluegrass music. We’ve had acts that range from Hootie and the Blowfish to Emmylou Harris and everything between perform.

One year we had Steve Martin perform which seemed outrageous to me because I was unaware of his musical talents until that point. I always thought of King Tut or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels or 10 million other acts or movies he was known for….never banjo playing, Grammy winning musician. But that is a description that fits him, as well.

A while back, I happen to catch him on The Stephen Colbert Show. He was the musical guest with his band The Steep Canyon Rangers. They were amazing….and I’m not even a fan of bluegrass.

Tonight while perusing my facebook feed, a friend had posted this video of Edie Brickell and Steve Martin on Conan. As if I had not just gotten used to the idea of Steve Martin being more than an actor and comedian, but an honest to goodness legitimate musician, now you want to blow my mind with a teaming of the horn-rimmed, cats eye glass wearing “What I Am” singer Edie Brickell. Too much!

I loved the song “What I Am” with Brickell and the New Bohemians. It is so catchy and gets stuck in your head. So when I heard she was collaborating with Martin, I was intrigued. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. However, this was a very nice first. Their sound is so smooth. Her voice has much more range than I remembered. As I watched the video of the two of them on the front of the stage, I was surprised to see how well their presence balanced. I completely expected Martin to become his “wild and crazy guy” and take over the performance, but that wasn’t the case at all.

This song was so comfortable and relaxed like a cozy blanket on a cool crisp night. I am definitely considering purchasing and downloading their entire album to add to my playlist.

So This Is What Eccentric Means – Day 57

 (Ad credit:  AICPA.  Found at http://www.feedthepig.org/about-us/psas#.Uw4kg_ldU1I)

Recently my students and I were discussing one of our vocabulary words:  eccentric.  We were discussing what it means to be eccentric.  I asked students if they had any eccentric relatives or friends. Then we discussed what qualified them to be considered eccentric.

One student explained that he knew someone who every Saturday night would get completely ready for church — shower, shave, and suit.  He would then go to bed — in his Sunday clothes.  He did this so on Sunday morning he could sleep later and get up ready to go.  The class decided that, yes, this was eccentric behavior.  One student, knowing of my daily firsts, suggested I attempt this eccentric activity.

Challenge accepted.

Last night just before bed, I showered and got completely ready for work.  Yes, I fixed my hair, put on my clothes….all of it.  Then I went to bed.  I will be honest.  I did wear pajama pants rather than my work pants for comfort’s sake.  Otherwise, I completely complied with this eccentric behavior.

It was somewhat uncomfortable, but it was certainly a time saver this morning.  Yes, my clothes were a bit wrinkled, but I got to stay in bed 30 minutes longer than usual….and I still made it to work on time.

When my student first mentioned this, we giggled.  We talked about its unusualness.  However, I shall not throw stones.  Perhaps this person my student mentioned might be eccentric, but I bet he’s less sleep deprived than I.

I Guess Blessing the Blessed Isn’t What Jesus Had in Mind – Day 56

I am in the midst of reading the book I started awhile back by Jen Hatmaker, Interrupted. I’m reading page after page, sentence after sentence, word after word that really boils down to faith without works is dead.

This book doesn’t hold back.  it is unapologetically forward in telling us that God doesn’t request, but demands we serve him through service to the marginalized in our world.  All to often I am lured into believing that a kind word or act to an equally blessed person is doing God’s work.  Trust me, I’m not saying it’s not.  However, the problem is when we become complacent with, as Hatmaker says, blessing the blessed.

As she states in her book, “If we claim affinity for Christ but turn a blind eye to those He identified himself with (the least of these in Matthew), there is no honor in that.  There is no truth in that.”

What am I supposed to do with that?  Clearly blessing the blessed is not service to “the least of these.”  Just when I was comfortable and feeling good about donating my clothes to Goodwill or putting my extra change into the offering plate or purchasing girl scout cookies thinking I was doing some great deed, I get slapped in the face with the magnitude of my need to really serve others.  Again, not that there’s anything amoral with these things….not at all.  But it’s just not good enough to make minimal sacrifices and then pat ourselves on the back.

So crap.  I know.  Not the most church-like expression in the world….but I feel such an obligation to really stretch myself today for my first in light of this reading and reflection.  Trying a new recipe, smiling at every person I know….these just will not do.  Today I have to find a way to serve “the least of these”….. the truly marginalized.

And while I’m doing this, I can’t just blindly donate money.  There’s no emotion in that.  What’s important is connecting with the humanity of the person, Hatmaker points out in her writing.  It’s not about being some benevolent American Christian who is here to bestow blessings on another and then go about their business like nothing happened.

It’s about having a heart to help while recognizing we all need help.  It’s about being the conduit of God to assist another.  Just like the night E and I volunteered at the homeless shelter, it’s not about me at all.  It’s about her.  The lady I connected with and made a loan to this evening.

Some time ago, I heard of the organization Kiva.  It is a group that provides microloans to groups and/or individuals around the globe. My understanding is it specifically targets those looking for loans in developing or impoverished nations.  Here in the US, I am never more than a short drive away from a bank where I can take out a sizable loan for anything from paying off another loan to purchasing a home to starting a business.  In many of the nations Kiva assists individuals, this is not an option for the average citizen.

That’s where Kiva comes in. Tonight I went to their website (which you can access by clicking here) and began perusing all of the many individuals and groups around the world looking for loans.  There were requests for college tuition, home improvements, supplies for businesses, and so many others.  After today’s reading, I felt compelled to go to the area titled “vulnerable groups.”

I clicked the link to find loan requests in the Middle East.  Why there?  I know women are subjected to gender-based violence and inequity in this region.  I kept thinking of the specific call in the Gospel to serve widows.  I knew I had to find a woman in this region who was looking for funding to help support her family.  I read the story of Sajida in Iraq and felt so connected with her story.  She was looking for a loan to purchase supplies for her sewing business which she uses to help support her family.

The awesome thing about Kiva is I will receive updates on Sajida and her business while she begins the process of paying back her creditors who assisted with her loan — one of which is me.

Julia Roberts-less Pretty Woman – Day 55

I love the school I work at.  Yes, we have tough days, but I genuinely like the people I spend most of my days with.  Middle school teachers are an unusual bunch.  We are sarcastic and compassionate.  We are tough but tender-hearted.  We are just a little crazy, too.  We do anything to capture the attention of students.  This includes costumes, colored hair, and gimmicks.  (We don’t really look like Seal, but I can’t help thinking of this song when I think of middle school teachers.)

When my husband and I began thinking of a unique fundraiser for the Loeys-Dietz Syndrome Foundation for our school to conduct, we considered a number of ideas….dance-a-thon, “hat” days, blah, blah, blah.  We wanted something totally different.  Something that was kind of crazy that would get everyone excited, because if they are excited, they participate.  And if they participate, the foundation is making money.

We decided on a womanless beauty pageant.  The local elementary school had conducted one of these as a school fundraiser with much success several years ago.  We pitched it to the school, and our principal approved the idea.  That leads me to today’s first.

Today I put make up on my husband.  Not a full face, but eyeshadow, liner, mascara, and lipstick.  After I had created 1960’s era “cats’ eyes” with liquid eyeliner, Rick says, “This comes off pretty easily, right?”  Uhm…..no.  Panic ensues.  He now realizes he is more than likely going to face another 75 13 year olds with eyeliner —- smeared charcoal gray eyeliner.

I suppose the fact that he is dressed in a red plaid school girl skirt with a blond braided wig on and being videotaped to show the entire school tomorrow has eluded him.  Really, what’s a little runny eye makeup when you look like a character from a Saturday Night Live skit parodying Pretty Woman?  However, he has nothing to be ashamed of.  He was gorgeous compared to some of the other male coworkers I saw decked out in their boas, wigs, and high heels.

You have got to love coworkers that are willing to endure a bit of hosiery, cosmetics, and ball gowns just to have fun raising money for a foundation that has done so much to help families like ours.

A Disturbing Yet Amazing Movie – Day 54

This afternoon it was just D and me at home.  He was napping which meant  I could get caught up on some phone calls, reading, cleaning house, and planning lessons.  Normally, I try to fill every available space I have with work, chores, or playing with my boys.

It’s very rare I just sit and do nothing for an afternoon.  I made a few calls, put some dishes in the dishwasher, but then I decided I was entitled to have an afternoon of rest.  It is the Sabbath, after all.  I grabbed the remote and began flipping channels.  I came across the movie Precious.  

I remember seeing ads for it when it was in the theatres.  We have a copy of the book it is based on Push.  My husband read it and found it to be captivating and disturbing all at the same time.  I read a little and was so troubled I couldn’t read anymore.  

The atrocities this main character, Precious, endured are without adequate words.  Abuse, incest, ….pretty much any horrible thing you could imagine happening to a child, it happened to Precious.  

As you can tell from my previous posts, when I watch and write about a movie, I analyze it.  However, the heavy and disturbing content of this movie left me unable to do so.  I became so angry at the many adults who failed this teenager that I could not be objective.  

Then I began thinking of the many students I have taught in my career.  I prayed none of them had ever endured such a home life.  I hoped that I would be the beacon of hope and encouragement Precious’s alternative school teacher was for her.  I thought about the way Precious would have outbursts of anger, and I was able to see it was simply a manifestation of the crappy home she had and the abuse she endured.  I couldn’t help but reflect on the students I’ve had who have appeared angry and wondered if the cause was a home situation I was unaware of.  

Sad.  That’s how I felt watching this movie.  Regardless, it is an amazing movie that helps us to remember that not every home is a supportive, encouraging one.  In fact, some homes are nothing short of hell.  I am so appreciative for the home I grew up in and the awesome parents I have.  Sometimes I feel like a total failure as a parent, but even in the midst of my shortcomings, I feel confident that my boys know I love them.  Perhaps, then, I’m not a failure at all.

Who Invited You to the Party? – Day 53

I love college basketball.  There’s nothing like it in North Carolina — the heart of the ACC.  Until E was adopted by Wake Forest this year, I had been a die-hard UNC fan since 1982.

I know it was 1982 because it was the year Sam Perkins, James Worthy, and Michael Jordan played for Dean Smith and won the NCAA Tournament.  It also happened to be the year my brother (my only sibling) was born.  Not quite as momentous as Smith winning his first national championship, but I suppose it secures second place.

It is an unwritten rule that UNC fans must hate Duke and Duke fans must hate UNC.  There is no compromise on this. Suggesting anything else is blasphemous.  

I realize I am no longer the UNC fan I used to be.  I have been converted to a Demon Deacon.  I love Wake Forest.  I feel such a debt of gratitude — not just to the baseball team — but to the entire athletic department.  The way the school has rolled out the red carpet to embrace our entire family leaves me speechless.  It’s not just a school for us; it is becoming an extension of our family.  

However…..old habits die hard. I hate Duke. I plead to the gods of basketball to destroy Coach K’s Court. However, tonight was different.  Thereby, it became my first.

Tonight, Duke played Syracuse.  Syracuse is new to the ACC.  And here they are showing up at our party and crashing it.  They have been undefeated almost the entire season (thank you, Boston College).  Their rabid fans pack our state’s arenas in their sea of orange. 

Earlier this year we attended the Wake Forest-Syracuse basketball game.  When Syracuse defeated Wake, these fans left the arena screaming, cursing, belligerent and obnoxious.  Again….this was our house and our party and they came crashing.  I decided then and there I would cheer for any opponent they had.  They needed to lose.  They needed to be reminded that THIS was the home of the ACC and they were just somebody’s obnoxious cousin who got invited to tag along.  So tonight… I cheered for (this is terribly painful to admit) for Duke. (insert dry heaving)  It’s true.  You should never say never.

 

Paying it Forward – Day 52

  (Meme from http://www.memegen.com)

We were having a hectic afternoon at home.  I had to pick up D from daycare, take E to the school dance, get E’s favorite outfit laundered, and get dinner somewhere in there.  My husband, Rick, is sick so I knew his help would be limited.  Oh well, this is exactly the type of evening fast food drive thrus were made for.

I have heard of many occasions were people have paid for the order of the car behind them in the drive thru line.  I have known from the beginning I would be doing that at one point.  Today was the day.  Time to pay it forward.

As I was waiting to order, a began noticing the car behind me.  It was a small sedan of some kind….four door.  There was a lady driving it who looked to be my age (29, that is….hahaha) or maybe a bit older.   She was the only one in the car, and I got the impression she was probably on her way from work.  I finished my order then drove ahead.

When I got to the window I explained to the employee that I also wanted to pay for the meal of the lady behind me.  She said I would have to wait because the lady was not finished giving her order.  What?  How could she still be ordering for only one person?

At that moment, honestly, I thought, “Crap!  She’s probably buying for her kid’s entire baseball team tonight.  What did I just do?”  I thought about throwing out a casual, “Oh, nevermind,” and moving on. But I didn’t.

I waited.

Then the employee looked at me, gave me the total, and I breathed a sigh of relief.  Turns out, she apparently wasn’t buying for a baseball team.  I paid and moved forward to the next window.

At that point I watched the mystery woman in the car behind me approach the window with money in her hand ready to pay.  Then she looked forward at my car, looked back at the employee, and took her money back.  It was a bit of an odd moment.  Should I wave; stare at her; yell “you’re welcome” at my window; or avoid looking at her?  What is the cultural norm —  the unwritten rule for such a thing? I think too much.

As I was pulling away, I did throw up my hand and saw her wave back in my rearview mirror.  She had a smile, but a confused look on her face.  Perhaps she was wondering what the unwritten rule for such a thing was, too.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Joe Dirt Would Be Proud – Day 51

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here it is….tonight’s first:

It was borne of necessity, really.  D is my two year old that would rather endure antiquated torture methods than a haircut.  In fact, my friend and hairstylist has offered jokingly to pay to have me take him to another stylist to cut his hair.

The last time I took him to her for a haircut was an experience.  If you had walked by and seen us, you would have undoubtedly thought a violent crime was getting ready to take place.  I had his hands and feet held down, his dad had a grip around his head to keep it from swinging around, he was screaming bloody murder, and the hairstylist was edging ever so slowly to him with shears in her hands.  I’m sure he’ll be recounting that years from now in therapy.

We’ve used cute haircutting capes, no cape, standing up, sitting down, bribery…..you name it.  He just doesn’t like having his haircut.  But it had to be done.  He was looking a lot like David Spade in Joe Dirt.  No child of mine will have a mullet that would make Billy Ray Cyrus envious.  That was it.  I decided to cut it myself.

I figure if I make too much of a mess, my friend will feel obligated to fix it and cut his hair finally.  The only way I had any hope of making this work was confining him to his high chair and placing a heaping bowl of ice cream in front of him.  Done.

The ice cream did manage to keep his attention well.  There were just a few times he noticed the scissors.  When he did, he said, “No, Mommy.”  Then I would hide the scissors and move to the other side.  As soon as he was totally immersed in his ice cream again, I would go back to it.  I knew there was no way to make everything perfect and straight…..even if I did have the skills (which I do not).  However, even with my hack job, he at least now looks like a child of 2014 and not 1986.