As I have mentioned before, this is the year I am conscientiously looking for wisdom. I think over the past two and a half years, I have become another person. Many wonderful and great things have happened in my life, but there have been struggles. In fact, there are struggles — it’s not a past tense thing. And, unfortunately, struggles are yet to come.
My oldest son is 14. I pray daily for a number of things for him. Two of these always on my list are 1. his relationship with Christ; 2. his health. I also pray many nights that I will not want to throw him through a window…..he is 14 after all. (By the way, I also pray for my youngest son, but the prayers are often different.)
In a nutshell, I am praying that God blesses my son and I with the same thing: wisdom.
But then I read Ecclesiastes 1 and I want to hesitate to say such a prayer for my son. Ecclesiastes 1:18 says, “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.” I look back on my life and I realize the reason why I have become another person is because I am stronger, wiser. It was the struggles that molded me into this wiser, better version of myself. If all had been hunky-dory, I would not be the me of today. And then I realize as much as I wish I didn’t experience the pain and disappointment, that is where the growth occurred.
Therefore, as much as I want to protect, shield, and guard my son, I cannot. It does not benefit him. It keeps him in an immature faith. I want his health protected. I want his health good. I want him to avoid hernia surgeries, and heart surgeries, and orthopedic surgeries, but I can’t protect him from everything. I’ve got to give him the basics and then hope the hard stuff, the tough things, the no-so-happy things, transform to wisdom….for him and for me.