A Day of Epic Proportions … failure wise. (aka Day 34)

When I titled my blog and gave it a tagline, I wasn’t kidding.  I am always striving for perfection (Miss Type A, here) but always falling far short of that goal.  I am learning how to be kinder to myself and not hold myself to an impossible standard, but old habits are hard to break.  And when you’ve had a day full of failures of epic proportions, it is hard to keep that chin up.

As detailed on this webpage, http://www.businessinsider.com/these-10-inventions-were-made-by-mistake-2010-11?op=1, many great inventions were the products of mistakes — the slinky (who doesn’t love those?), penicillin (say goodbye strep throat), post-it notes (how did we live without those?), and my favorite:  chocolate chip cookies (2nd only to ambrosia as the food of the gods). That was not the case with me today.  My mistakes were just simply….mistakes.  However, they certainly were firsts….or at least attempts at firsts.

This morning while getting ready in the frantic pace of a morning that finally saw us returning to the regular schedule of school after three snow days and a weekend, I decided I was going to get a step ahead.  I am still feeling slightly under the weather, my boys have basketball tonight, and I am sleep deprived.  Obviously, it would be a great day for a crock pot meal.  Crock pot fajitas that would have the house smelling oh-so-good returning home from work this evening sounds perfect.  Then getting home I would only need to heat up rice and tortillas.  Easy peasy.

I laid the peppers and onions in the bottom of the vessel.  The chicken breasts were delicately placed on top.  I follow that with two cups of chicken broth…..and then…..it happens……liquid begins running down my pant leg.  I look and it’s running off the counter, dripping into the opened towel drawer.  I silently curse myself wondering how I had cracked the crock.  Then I see it.  The crock is actually still on the counter — not in the warmer.  I realize I had placed all the food and liquid into the actual warmer itself.  The liquid all over me and my counter ….. and the dish towels and the floor…..it’s chicken broth that has been poured over raw chicken.  Lovely.  Just lovely.  And now I have to clean myself and the kitchen.  I am no longer getting a step ahead.  I am now two steps behind.  Long story short, instead of coming home to a hot meal and the smell of savory goodness, I came home to dog poop, chicken stench, and the task of cooking.  But it was the first time I’ve ever done that before…..and it will be the last.  Hopefully.

However, I still believed I needed a real first — not just one of accidents.  I decided I would take up dollar bill origami.  My sister-in-law is really good at this.  She has given money as gifts in the shapes of things I didn’t know were possible.  Online step-by-step directions, youtube tutorials, this seems like a no fail task considering all the resources available.  However, I should have known better.  I had five one-dollar bills.  I attempted an arrow.  Seemed like it would have been easy.  Not so much.  I bent and folded for 20 minutes and had not gotten past step 4 because I kept having to unfold the bill and start over.  Okay, fine.  I found at least 30 other shapes or designs.  Attempt 2:  a butterfly.  Aww….I like butterflies.  Real ones.  I am a hater of those made of folded dollar bills.  Attempt 3:  basket.  Why on God’s green earth would I believe a basket would be easier when I can’t make a stinking arrow?  Attempt 4:  elephant.  Do I even need to comment?  Attempt 5:  wad.  I got that one down pat.  Dollar bill origami is stupid.  I give up.  My esteem cannot handle any further attempts.  Today’s firsts will be falling short of perfection.  I will love myself anyway.  Kumbaya.

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